____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
the liver wants what the liver wants
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
