question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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