Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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