He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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