"it" just moved
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
