hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
