we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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