Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
