remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
