I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
