why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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