when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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