In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
