My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Randomize
