Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
