Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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