i don't like sucking hair
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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