and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
