Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle http://tfl.nu/fluw
  Replies (27) Good night (4368) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off http://tfl.nu/1hbn
  Replies (13) Good night (4335) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.." http://tfl.nu/gg20
  Replies (17) Good night (3309) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs. http://tfl.nu/e9u8
  Replies (28) Good night (3847) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill. http://tfl.nu/1t9o
  Replies (9) Good night (3346) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory? http://tfl.nu/3lqg
  Replies (18) Good night (4290) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL http://tfl.nu/le0h
  Replies (6) Good night (3118) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (2956) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature. (503): Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true. http://tfl.nu/zw1q
  Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out. http://tfl.nu/ioyx
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355
  Replies (7) Good night (2266) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free. http://tfl.nu/dxth
  Replies (0) Good night (941) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage. http://tfl.nu/vubj
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support http://tfl.nu/wag8
  Replies (3) Good night (261) Bad night (177)

Randomize