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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  There's always time for handjobs

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

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• (909): View more from California

  Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"

  (951): View more from California

  That's just where I'm at in my life.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"

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• (415): View more from California

  WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?

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