dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.