Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!