gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING