I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?