Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
