I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
