I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
