Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she told me i tasted like america
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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