I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
