She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
