i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
