if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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