His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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