ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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