I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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