very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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