THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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