so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
