His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
