I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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