this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
