It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
