K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
