my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
