Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My breasts were aching with rage.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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