Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
