remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
