just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
