I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
