i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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