Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
