so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
