Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
someone owes me an orgasm
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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