Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
