Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Mom said you looked used
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
