stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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