you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize