Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.

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  (912): He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter. http://tfl.nu/k17d
  Replies (14) Good night (756) Bad night (2152)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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  (224): The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway http://tfl.nu/3kio
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (3473)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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  (608): We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother. http://tfl.nu/gjr6
  Replies (13) Good night (792) Bad night (4452)
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  (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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  (415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t
  Replies (76) Good night (10041) Bad night (1053)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  and who said we didn't have goals?

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  (219): my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus (317): and who said we didn't have goals? http://tfl.nu/piod
  Replies (12) Good night (4113) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.

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  (763): He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening. http://tfl.nu/7ub3
  Replies (11) Good night (1391) Bad night (5929)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10389) Bad night (1358)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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  (586): Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes http://tfl.nu/g7it
  Replies (3) Good night (2134) Bad night (1003)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.

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  (614): He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/hs4h
  Replies (22) Good night (4573) Bad night (763)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

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  (615): I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed? http://tfl.nu/0gei
  Replies (22) Good night (877) Bad night (2696)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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  (732): Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help. http://tfl.nu/m3q1
  Replies (6) Good night (2173) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?

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  (619): We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!? http://tfl.nu/jmdl
  Replies (9) Good night (1516) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?

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  (910): Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating? http://tfl.nu/5bmf
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

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  (608): She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out http://tfl.nu/4oi1
  Replies (6) Good night (596) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.

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  (507): I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was. http://tfl.nu/gljz
  Replies (2) Good night (243) Bad night (528)

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