Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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(585): lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time http://tfl.nu/tppe

Replies (9) Good night (4740) Bad night (596)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes

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(860): there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes http://tfl.nu/0fsj

Replies (24) Good night (4922) Bad night (2446)
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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(303): It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic. http://tfl.nu/yvsq

Replies (28) Good night (2298) Bad night (4641)
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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4

Replies (12) Good night (5042) Bad night (1566)
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(727): View more from Florida

you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot

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(727): you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot http://tfl.nu/icr3

Replies (4) Good night (2236) Bad night (932)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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(404): He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday. http://tfl.nu/mk6n

Replies (14) Good night (1587) Bad night (659)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin

(774): View more from Massachusetts

He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying

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(774): Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin (774): He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying http://tfl.nu/waxr

Replies (3) Good night (1953) Bad night (484)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...

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(204): Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"... http://tfl.nu/0fub

Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (343)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

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(+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu

Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (228)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

(1-248): View more from Michigan

You pretty much did tho

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(248): Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum (1-248): You pretty much did tho http://tfl.nu/fp9x

Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (195)
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(734): View more from Michigan

You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.

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(734): You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts. http://tfl.nu/l485

Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (187)
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(917): View more from New York City

We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell

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(917): We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/8o1d

Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (329)
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(904): View more from Florida

thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt

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(904): thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt http://tfl.nu/t37k

Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (261)
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(607): View more from New York

Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

(1-607): View more from New York

I think so and I think we were sober.

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(607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa

Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (207)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?

(1306): View more from

HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!

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(306): just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you? (1306): HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?! http://tfl.nu/7mrm

Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (151)

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