And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.