Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..

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(530): View more from California

I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm you met him three days ago....

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I said what I said

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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(914): View more from New York

I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later

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(337): View more from Louisiana

so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.

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(636): View more from Missouri

2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

(314): View more from Missouri

Please tell me those aren't related.

(636): View more from Missouri

I made rice.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT

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