he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.