Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy

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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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(207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y

Replies (47) Good night (6215) Bad night (1499)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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(479): even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit... http://tfl.nu/fzja

Replies (60) Good night (4516) Bad night (1537) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?

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(405): She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip? http://tfl.nu/6lx8

Replies (17) Good night (3637) Bad night (1861) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule

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(250): And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule http://tfl.nu/gp5a

Replies (8) Good night (3483) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.

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(902): In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/d367

Replies (10) Good night (2868) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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(562): View more from California

I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

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(562): I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me. http://tfl.nu/m5b0

Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (960)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

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(224): I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania http://tfl.nu/5wck

Replies (14) Good night (2351) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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(637): View more from

I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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(637): I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night http://tfl.nu/nv4l

Replies (0) Good night (1169) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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(+34): View more from Spain

First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?

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(+34): First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here? http://tfl.nu/wg03

Replies (8) Good night (1993) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

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(206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him... http://tfl.nu/o74a

Replies (6) Good night (763) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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(+44): want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want (1+44): brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall http://tfl.nu/0u3p

Replies (6) Good night (1855) Bad night (254)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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(410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f

Replies (2) Good night (242) Bad night (461)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

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(270): Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer. http://tfl.nu/rbji

Replies (0) Good night (712) Bad night (154)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.

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(303): I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/angx

Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (96) Order T-Shirt

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