Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zuj3
  Replies (61) Good night (2230) Bad night (4471)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you http://tfl.nu/i2qz
  Replies (27) Good night (5357) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010 http://tfl.nu/e381
  Replies (11) Good night (4681) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk http://tfl.nu/44fq
  Replies (9) Good night (1310) Bad night (3306)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few http://tfl.nu/2coh
  Replies (1) Good night (2270) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0
  Replies (9) Good night (1462) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead. http://tfl.nu/inpn
  Replies (2) Good night (1053) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/4mei
  Replies (10) Good night (1628) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper http://tfl.nu/949l
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

  (+61): View more from Australia

  SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON (+61): SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE (+61): THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL. http://tfl.nu/d007
  Replies (9) Good night (1486) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned. http://tfl.nu/z20l
  Replies (20) Good night (763) Bad night (2348)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite. (302): Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing" http://tfl.nu/v00f
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard http://tfl.nu/zjmt
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I? http://tfl.nu/xms3
  Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor" http://tfl.nu/zwwk
  Replies (5) Good night (331) Bad night (598)

Randomize