I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
