I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
