I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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