There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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