i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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