the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
