So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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