You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
