Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
