Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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