I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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