What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
