When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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